ahhhhhhh, dh lama xon9;) hmmm kata bila dh free nk buat a few perubahan. nothing change pun!!!
calm down, sabar.... i will changes things.. cume now, i malas sikit haha:)
back to main topic please.
Friends or Foes?
friendship.
is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations..
Values in friendships.
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other
- Sympathy and empathy
- Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
- Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
- Enjoyment of each other's company
- Trust in one another
- Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
- The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.
- It is very important to have honesty, trust, sympathy, respect and helpfulness in friendship.
but why does this values isnt in any friendship ive been in?
why doesnt this values isnt in any friendship ive witnessed?
not in any friendship i have seen in my surroundings?
well here is the answer.
its never in any friendship because people take friendships lightly. they think "oh friendships doesnt last, why should i care?"
but deep down, they are afraid, afraid of being alone. they want to be in a friendship that last for a period of time. it doesnt necessarily have to last forever. but if it does last forever, or you want for it to last forever, then you have to work harder.
sometimes, its not our fault that our friendship with a group of people does not work out the way you wanted it to be, sometimes its the other side's fault.
im saying this from experience.
let me explain.
the concept of fre-nemies.
friends, who are also enemies...
Frenemy: A portmanteau of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy—a proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing in the world of friendships. This is also known as a love–hate relationship.
ok maybe they are not exactly enemy, but the term of "pretending to be a friend" is very common nowadays,
people wants a friend that is by their side through thick or thin.
but if an individual only becomes your friend when you in good terms and leave you when you are facing difficulties, then i suggest you leave them. leave before they use you for their own benefits.
words of advice, never make friends with someone who take you for granted. For example:
they become friends with you because you are, financially better than they are. in other words, rich.
the befriends with you, treat you like "one of them" , just so when you wander around the world, or even go somewhere they only dream of going,and when you come back, obviously you brought them presents as to say thank you for being your friend and bla bla bla...
and of course they accepted it with smiles and thank yous. bla bla bla.
but some, they only wanted the feeling of actually having something that they'll only dream of having.
this is example 1.
example 2:
they become friends with you because they pity you.
this is also a common problem in our society.
the take you in their group,treat you well. but as time flew by, they started ignoring you. they started getting annoyed by you. you of course dont understand why they are doing it but you can get the feeling of awkwardness when you are around them.
but you still hang on to them. and this makes them feel very, very annoyed. they are tired of you holding on to them, so they have no choice but to push you away, throwing you away like trash. making you feel isolated and alone. and worst, treating you like a "+ one" of a certain group.
this is definitely not what friendship is all about.
feels like just yesterday you were having fun with them, going out for movies and shopping. and today, they ignored you, boss you around, treating you like their servant. overall, making you feel like a street cat.
i know how hurt this feels.
you never said anything about this.
you just stayed quiet, ignoring everything they put you through.
but at some point, you'll feel tired of everything and like everyone else, you reached your breaking point.
you started walking away from everyone, ignoring everyone around you, just sitting alone, doing your own stuff.
even though you can hear people talk about you in their whispering yet cold voice, you keep on doing your work. this is a big step. not everyone are able to act as you are. it means this step takes courage.
walking away from a society that once accepted you, is very hard.
it means swallowing away the pride you once had.
but if this makes you happy, if this makes you feel comfortable, then keep doing it.
even though, deep down you feel the need to have friends surrounding you, being concern about you, you still keep your head down and ignore everyone and everything.
by all means, keep doing it.
this is brave.
being alone while everyone else are in their respective groups.
you keep a straight face. but no one knows how you sob so hard when you sleep at night.
sobbing, crying so hard, letting the tears of pain and anger flow out of you.
and when the sun rises, you transform back to the straight face, lonely person you've always have been.
even though its not healthy nor is it good for you, but if society cant accept you, then why the hell should you accept society?!
why should you accept a society that treats you like crap?
why should you accept a society that pretends to like you?
why should you accept a society that takes you for granted?
its not worth it.
nothing is.
if you want to be happy, then you better make the right choices for yourself.
if you're the kind of person that puts others before yourself, then stop doing it.
if you're the kind of person that lives to please others, then stop doing it.
stop doing anything that makes you miserable.
just stop it, and start thinking about yourself.
start thinking how to please yourself.
start taking care of yourself.
ignore the world,
ignore the world that treats you like some stupid crap.
you are yourself, and there is nothing they can do to change you.
they have no rights.
you have the rights to figure things out for yourself, the world could only judge you by the road you choose to take. thats it. if they dare cross the line, and you gave them permission, then you are doing nothing but letting them take advantage of you.
so start thinking on how you want to live your life.
do you want to live a life you always wanted to live, or do you want to live a life that is controlled by society?
its your choice,
its your life.
-the end-
